Black Flag (Racing on the Edge) Read online

  “No, Jameson.” Her eyes focused on mine, pleading. “I will not be surprised when someone comes up to me and says they I slept with my boyfriend.”

  I was sure she didn’t want to hear this at all. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  After a long moment of silence, I decided to be honest with her and myself. “The first was Chelsea in high school after that night we spent up at Dayton Peak and you left with Cooper.” I watched her face fall with disappointment. “I only slept with her once.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah it was horrible.” I sighed running my hand over my jaw. “The rest I don’t really remember. I’m not sure I even know how many.”

  “Ballpark figure then...?”

  Knowing my past, I didn’t want to even say. It was embarrassing.

  “Thirty, maybe,” I was expecting her to gasp or something but her facial expression never changed. Thirty was probably a lie too. I honestly had no idea. It wasn’t like I was keeping track of the nameless fillers. Deep down, I knew the number was closer to fifty but I couldn’t say it. I was disgusted with myself for that time in my life.

  “Ashley?” she asked.

  “Yes, once.” I admitted trying to block out the thoughts.

  “Dana?”

  “Never,” A shudder ran through me at the thought thinking of that peppy stalker close to me.

  “Mariah?”

  “Never,” My eyes met hers again. “I wasn’t lying. I never slept with that woman regardless of what she tells everyone.”

  “Anyone I may run into at the track?”

  “Not besides Ashley. The rest were just random fans I guess or a few women from bars around the tracks we stopped at. I wasn’t lying to you when I said that woman in Vegas last April, was the last. And up until you, I’ve never slept with the same woman twice. Nor have I ever gone without a condom...besides with you.”

  Sway nodded a tear slid down her cheek. “I hate that you thought I would sleep with Mike again.” Her eyes dropped.

  I hung my head in shame. “I’m so fucking sorry. That was...I don’t even know what to call myself for that. I was a fucking idiot.”

  “Did you really think I would do that?”

  “No...but my judgment was clouded.”

  “I would never cheat on you, Jameson.”

  I nodded, fearing the look in her eyes because I knew once again; she’d forgiven me for being an asshole when she shouldn’t. “You deserve so much better than me, Sway.”

  “Don’t ever accuse me of cheating on you, ever.”

  “I won’t. Just don’t give up on me just yet.” I leaned over, trying to maneuver myself to be able to touch her but it didn’t work. Instead, I groaned in pain. Sway of course, reached out to me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I think I just need to go rest.”

  “Okay, let’s go home.”

  She started my car and though no one had ever driven my Shelby GT 500 Mustang besides me, I knew she could do it and amazingly I wasn’t having a heart attack when she missed second gear.

  Other than that one slip, Sway could drive the car damn near as good as me. What really calmed me down was when Sway turned up the radio to a country song playing knowing I’d sing for her.

  “You want me to sing for you?”

  She didn’t say anything, just sighed contently and leaned her head back against the seat.

  My voice was gravely baritone and I didn’t have that certain twine needed for country but I made up for it with a drawl I knew she loved.

  I was relieved to see everyone was gone when we got back to my parent’s house. I didn’t need another lecture from my dad and if I saw Spencer or Emma again today, I wasn’t sure how well I’d deal with their shit when I had my own drowning me.

  “This is nice.” Sway said getting inside the warm tub with me after lighting the candles I had in here from the last time we took a bath. The only light coming in was the flickering of candles shadowed by the moonlight.

  “Is this okay? I mean, can you still take baths?” I was already leaned against the side, covered to my chest in the water. My left arm rested on the side since I couldn’t submerge it yet.

  “Yeah, I read that book What to Expect when Expecting when you were in the hospital. It just said to be careful in like hot tubs and saunas.”

  “But the salt is okay?”

  “Salt?” She grinned. “What are you doing below the water there?”

  “Not my salt.” I laughed. “I poured Epsom salt in here. It helps when you have broken bones.”

  “Oh, that. Yes, you can.” Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “It’s actually really good to keep infections away.”

  “Come over here, honey.” I motioned for her to sit between my legs.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You look like you’re in pain.” Her hand reached up to graze over the purplish bruises forming from the ribs I was positive were broken again.

  I gave a halfhearted smile. “I am in pain. I hurt you again.”

  Believe me, I was in excruciating fucking pain from my ribs but nothing compared to the heartache I was feeling having caused her to cry today.

  “It’s okay. I understand how bad that must have looked since I sent Mike over there.”

  “Why did you?” You couldn’t miss the curiosity in my voice.

  “Justin asked if I knew of any other drivers. I said I knew Mike Tanner. I had no idea that he was asking if I knew of any other drivers to race your car. I would have never suggested him.”

  “That makes me feel better.”

  “He’s nothing compared to you behind the wheel, that’s for sure.”

  “Really? What else am I better at?”

  “Everything...not that you need your ego stroked,”

  “Stroking is good.”

  “You’re the best I’ve ever had.” She cooed, her eyes holding mine. Her expression changed. “I’m curious now though. Am I really the only one that’s ever...” her eyes drifted south.

  “Yes.” I assured her with a chuckle. “I was a virgin to that.”

  “Why?” Her questioning eyes melted into mine.

  “I’ve always thought oral sex was intimate. I just never wanted something like that from anyone I didn’t trust completely. Women tried don’t get me wrong. They went for it but I always pulled them away.”

  “So you let me because...”

  “I don’t think you understand the power you have over me.” I smiled weakly. “Even though I don’t deserve you, I trust you more than anyone else in this world. You own me, my heart, my soul; it’s yours, all of it. So yes you are the only one that I share those personal experiences with and I don’t talk about them with anyone.” I hinted.

  “I don’t tell people, I promise.”

  “I know. I just...we need to be careful about our relationship and the personal details we tell others. They will do anything to use it against us.”

  She sighed contently and snuggled against my arm. I reached down further and placed my hand against her stomach.

  “I love you.” I whispered into her damp hair. Her hand slipped into my hand, our fingers intertwined together. “I want to take you some place tomorrow.”

  Sway bent forward to add more hot water to our cooling bath. “Where?”

  “Our house.”

  Sway looked confused for a moment and then motioned to the room around us. “We are in your house. Did you bump your head today?” her fingertips grazed over the bruise forming over my left eyebrow from the hallway brawl, then touched softly to my fat lip.

  “No, not this house,” I smiled. “Our house...the one I’m having built.”

  “What do you mean our house? That’s your house?”

  “No it’s not.” My voice softened. “Sway, me, you and this baby...we’re a family now.” I laughed softly. “I know I haven’t asked you to marry me yet but I still consider us a family. That house is ours.”

  Sway
started crying again. “I...you...I...are you...sure?” she hiccupped.

  “I’ve never been more sure honey.”

  “Where do you want to live...like in the off season?”

  I drew her closer again. Carefully she laid back against my chest. As though it had a mind of its own, my hand instinctively went to her stomach underneath the water. “I was thinking this year we should stay in Elma...for Charlie. Next year, we’ll see how things go. The house will be done the first week in December.” I kissed along her neck. “We should probably look for a home in Elma soon.”

  I knew with Charlie being sick, Sway would want to stay close to him and for good reason. We also had a lot to figure out over the off-season with the track and the baby coming in the late winter.

  “That would be nice.” Sway agreed, her toes wiggling on the edge of the tile playing with the nobs on the faucet.

  It was nice being able to talk about the future when not more than two hours ago I thought for sure she’d left me. Placing my lips at her ear, I let them graze against her as I spoke. “I love you, Sway.”

  “I love you too.” She turned capturing my lips with her own balancing me in ways I could never explain as they were unidentified to even me.

  3. Stagger – Jameson

  Stagger – The difference in size between the tires on the left and right side of a race car. Because of a tire’s makeup, slight variations in circumference happen. Stagger between the right-side and left-side tires may range from less than a half inch to more than an inch.

  “Wow, it’s so big.”

  “I know,”

  “Like really big.”

  I let out a soft chuckle at her enthusiasm. “I know.”

  “Don’t you think it’s a little...too big?”

  “Please Sway,” my lips grazed her ear from behind. “Nothing is too big.”

  Pressing my hips forward, I emphasized my point. She shivered and I delivered. Bending her forward over the kitchen counter in our unfinished house, I lifted her cotton white skirt. Slowly and as seductively as I could, I slipped her panties down her smooth bare legs, kissing my way back up to stand behind her.

  She knew exactly what she was doing when she put this skirt on this morning, knowing damn well I was one horny boy these days. To say she was anything less, would be an understatement. Though she was only into her third month of pregnancy, Sway’s hormones were out of control. She needed a rev limiter is what she needed. She wanted it every day, multiple times a day and I wasn’t about to deny her. It seemed the more I healed from the accident, the more I felt the same way. I was afraid I’d hurt her or the baby with how rough she liked it but she never complained.

  “Harder.” She moaned throwing her head back.

  “I’ll hurt the baby...” I hesitated. Bent over the granite counters, her hands hooked on the eating bar above. I steadied my feet with the sawdust around us. Sway’s skirt was draped over her back; her panties, now in my fisted hand.

  I think I’ll just keep them today.

  “I said harder, Jameson!” Sway growled. When she looked over her shoulder, I almost lost it right then. Images of the last time I had her laid across a counter flooded my mind. Groaning at the memory, my movements sped.

  Once she bit down on her lower lip and screamed my name, I unraveled quickly.

  “That was fun.” Sway smiled sitting in front of me on the counter. “We christened one room already.”

  With her underwear in hand, I pulled my jeans up.

  Sway reached for her panties.

  “Ah-uh,” I grinned shaking my head slowly. “I’m keeping these for today. That way...” My fingertips swept lightly across her collarbone and down her arm. “In case I feel the need to ravage you again, you’re ready.”

  “That sounds...oh god...” she moaned when I stepped in between her legs. Just my jeans rubbing against her bare center was arousing her once again which made me chuckle.

  “Sway...” My lips pressed to her throat and her head tipped backwards. “I’m not seventeen you know...I need at least a few minutes.”

  Her hand dipped inside my jeans, grasping me firmly.

  “Really?” her eyebrows arched when she felt me harden under her touch.

  “Fuck it...” I mumbled carrying her into the soon to be living room.

  There was no furniture. Hell, most of the house hadn’t even been dry walled. So instead, I leaned her against the wall facing the south side of the house. This time I didn’t even bother pulling my jeans down, though they eventually fell with my quick movements.

  With any luck, sometime today I’d get to show her the upstairs of the house.

  “Wow, it’s huge up here too.” Sway grinned back at me stepping onto the second floor.

  “Don’t start that again...” Her pouty face had me reconsidering my words instantly. “I just need a few minutes and besides, we have years to christen this house.” I grabbed her hand. “I want to show you something.”

  I led her toward the room I’d been dying to show her since we arrived an hour ago. The room I called the contractors about two weeks ago and they amazingly finished before all the rest, just for my surprise.

  We walked down the hall toward the master bedroom and entered the double doors. With a gentle nudge, I grasped Sway’s hand and guided her inside.

  The master bedroom was beautiful, I’ll say that much. The east side was wall-to-wall windows that overlooked Lake Norman. Mahogany wood floors wrapped throughout the room and led you back toward the walk in closets, then into the master bathroom. Though the master bath was amazing, it was still just a bathroom to me.

  I was excited about the shower as I designed myself. It had dual heads along with ten other jets in the six by six space that included a bench that I already envisioned Sway straddling me on.

  God I think dirty. She’s right, I am a dirty heathen.

  I glanced at Sway. She was biting down on her lower lip and I knew exactly what she was thinking when she stepped inside the glass doors, stripping her clothes as she went.

  Well fuck...now the surprise will have to wait.

  Once our clothes were intact another thirty minutes later and I could stand up without getting dizzy, we walked back into the master bedroom. Eight times in one day is enough to leave any man light headed for lack of bodily fluids.

  Smiling, she started to head out the door when I gently reached for her. “Again?” she asked.

  “No...I can’t.” I groaned shaking my head. “I seriously don’t think I could get it up again without being chemically assisted.”

  “So why did you stop.” She gave me a smile. “I’ve seen this room.”

  I returned the smile, tipping my head. “Yes, but you haven’t seen this addition.” I placed my right hand against her cheek, running my thumb over her lower lip. With a nod, I motioned toward the unopened door. “Open that door.”

  “That one?” she pointed toward it.

  “Yes, that one,”

  “Why, is there a cougar in there?”

  I glared. “No, there’s a clown. Now open the goddamn door.”

  Sway laughed freely reaching for the doorknob. My breath caught in my throat when she gasped at the sight of our unborn child’s room.

  The floors matched the master bedroom and with a much-deserved favor from Emma had been painted with a soft tan color. That combined with the dark floors gave the room a lived in feel regardless of the lack of furniture.

  What sent Sway into a fit of hysteria happy tears was the black and white photo Emma had framed on the wall.

  The photo was one from Sway’s ultrasound, blown up to a larger size and showed all the details of the arms, legs and head.

  Under the photo was text that read:

  We are patiently waiting your arrival baby Riley

  Approaching her from behind, I wrapped my arms around her resting my hands over her stomach. “Do you approve?”

  She sniffled and eventually choked out, “Yes, very much so...thank
you.” She eventually choked out.

  Sway needed comforting so we laid there, on the floor, holding each other with Sway gazing endlessly at the photo that she removed from the wall to get a better look at.

  “I think it’s gonna be a boy.”

  “Really?” I asked kissing her temple. My fingertips traced circles over her collarbone. “What makes you think that?”

  “I just have a feeling. I had a dream about a little boy the other night with your crazy rusty hair and green eyes.”

  I smiled thinking of a little me running around and then cringed. That was not something I was ready for. I’d rather have a little Sway running around with her emerald eyes and soft mahogany curls but I’d settle for either one.

  “Mmmm,” I sighed.

  “What?” Sway asked turning to face me holding the picture to her chest. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can always tell when you have a secret.”

  Her eyes fell to the photograph once again tracing the outline of our baby. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

  “Nope,” I shook my head.

  “I’m scared it’s too soon for us to become parents.” Sway blurted out.

  I laughed. “You’re probably right but it is what it is.”

  “We’re doing this backwards you know.”

  When I didn’t say anything her anxious eyes meant mine.

  “That’s what makes it fun.” I told her.

  Eventually I ended up showing Sway the rest of the house and the race shop I was having built.

  She loved everything about the house but I knew she enjoyed the baby’s room best. After today I couldn’t wait to finally start our lives together but first I would need to purpose.

  I knew that wasn’t something I could rush into, especially after the other night. I needed to show Sway how much she meant to me and I needed to earn her trust.

  Stagger – Sway

  We could only keep Jameson in the house for so long before he found his way to the sprint car shop and insisted on making some changes to the cars. What he was doing, no one knew, but it was more of him just needing to be around the cars.